The Queer Futures Collective
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Sunday sentiments/

 
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SUNDAY

SENTIMENTS/

#thoughtfeelings

 

Hubble Spies Glowing Galaxies in Massive Cluster. Credit: ESA/Hubble & NASA.

 

 

SUNDAY SENTIMENTS/// is a weekly gesture of rebellion, an offering, a disruption to the present. It is a site to develop a practice to share/exchange radically vulnerable thoughtfeelings and build communal knowledge from it. We believe in the invaluable potential of what we know that is still raw, unpolished, a draft, in the particular search of strategies to inhabit our disabled bodymindspirits with wisdom and kindness.

 

This is an invitation to open genuine conversations about what we–as disabled queer/trans people–long, need, and dream. It is an alternative reality when/where we can create radically vulnerable collaborative knowledge and foster communal intimacy through fragmented memories, flashbacks, presentiments, and ecstatic raptures . 

 

thoughtfeelings

 

on care networks and hyphae

by Sav Schlauderaff

When I speak about care networks, I imagine the roots in the forest

The xylem and phloem passing up and down the trees from their roots to the veins of the leaves hanging off the branches. Determined by the environment, nutrients and needs. That these needs shift and change with the seasons. Translocation requires communication and energy; and teaches us that the parts of the plants that make the energy for the tree transport it to places that can’t.


When I speak about care networks, I imagine us as a fairy circle

Small, low mushrooms on a patch of grass just behind my house

Our mycelium, soft and connected below in the wet damp dirt

The hyphae growing towards each other

And not at all something like a rhizome that academics like to talk about


I imagine us sitting in our new homes

Just like we are now

The necessity of technology now to facilitate our conversations

You, in a forest way up in northern california

Me, in a desert with horses across a now dried up river bank

You, making the perfect tea 12 time zones away

You, on a beach sitting in the sun

You, contemplating bangs for the fifth time

You, always so far, so busy, so sad, so tired.

We’re all so tired


I’ll give you my energy when I can

Just call me along our not-so-imaginary roots

We’re all connected by thread like that one Fiona Apple music video


I’ll remember to be honest when I call

I won’t say I’m fine


But


I think our roots need some tending

They are being stretched so thin lately I fear they will snap

Will they repair once we are back together?

Once we feel better?

Once we’re not so tired, and sad, and lonely, and in pain?


Can you feel my pain too?

How can we remember not to pass our pain on to each other?

Can we transform it into an energy that will feed and support us?


I have so many questions, but for now I just miss You.